Episode 6 - How To Divorce A Crazy Person

TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence

Whitten continues to unmute. She and Maggie share a step-by-step guide on How To Divorce A Crazy Person. 

Transcript

Steps to Divorce a Crazy Person

Whitten 0:00

Hi , my name is Witten and I'm Maggie , and this is episode six of Unmute . In our last episode , we talked about all the horribleness of when I was actually married to Lizzie , and in this episode we're going to discuss how to divorce a crazy person . With every episode , we like to give a trigger warning for domestic violence , because I did live through a pretty traumatic experience . We want to make sure that you listen with caution .

Maggie 0:29

And we'd like to call out that this podcast does not go in chronological order .

Whitten 0:31

Also , names have been changed to protect the guilty but , more importantly , to protect the innocent . So , without further ado , please enjoy episode six of Unmute .

Maggie 0:35

Step one in how to divorce a crazy person Find a lawyer .

Whitten 0:38

And that was a little bit tricky because living in North Carolina and every state has different divorce laws and so that's something I didn't really realize how different it could be . Certain states are no fault . Certain states have different residency qualifications and in North Carolina , if you've lived there for over six months and that's like your most recent place for over six months , they claim residency , which you had . Yes , so I had to find a North Carolina lawyer and I didn't really know North Carolina lawyers .

Whitten 1:06

So the friends that I ran to that night , the ones who we said that he was like a papa bear , like all nurturing , and I was at their house , he had recommended a lawyer to me and I did talk to this lawyer it was all virtual because it was pandemic times anyway , so we were all very used to virtual meetings but this lawyer kind of terrified me .

Whitten 1:28

She kept saying I need you to go to the magistrate right now and I want you to go put charges against Lizzie because what happened to you is traumatizing and you need to put charges because she's a hazard to society and an abuser . And yeah , but I was so afraid of police I didn't want to go to the magistrate and but I was so afraid of police I didn't want to go to the magistrate and also little did I know she'd already gone to the magistrate and put charges against me . So I really didn't enjoy that lawyer because I felt more intimidated than supported and it was an emotional experience for me . So Sally , her older sister , is actually a lawyer , not in North Carolina , but she has a big alumni database that she sourced from to help find us a lawyer . So I found the most amazing lawyer .

Maggie 2:07

Maggie talked to her on the phone when I got arrested .

Whitten 2:09

We referenced her a few times and she's who I ended up working with for this process .

Maggie 2:15

Step two be on the lookout . So step two in this process now you're on the lookout , you're essentially on high alert for whatever this crazy bitch is going to do next .

Whitten 2:23

And you have no idea what she could do and at that point I had no idea she would attack me . Everything I knew was gone , right . So one of my friends from the community who also lived in Pasture Town was a member of there's a Pasture Town Facebook group that basically , people posted there's going to be yard sale .

Maggie 2:40

There's going to be or lost pets . That's what mine is in my neighborhood . Yes , always lost pets . Well , that's not good for you to see , so you ?

Whitten 2:45

might not need to be in that one , but there , yes , like there's a school basketball game , who can donate to the team , that sort of thing ? Well , there was a post that you know , of course . They were hosting a guard sale and all the items just happened to be mine . Remember , I loved fiesta wear . It was like calling out the fiesta wear that was in it . It was calling out .

Maggie 3:04

It had ornaments and stuff . Yes , like my like Christmas decor . I feel like you sent me a screenshot of , like the Facebook post . Yes , I think there's a whole table full of like your Hallmark ornaments . It's all this stuff .

Whitten 3:15

I know I still . I actually went into my hidden photo album to find all that stuff Cause I don't like to see that stuff on a regular day yeah , it's crazy and that happened .

Maggie 3:22

It happened so quickly what , when , in the timeline after you , like you getting out of there and getting back to Louisville , do you , do you think that this yard sale happened ? It was three days , three days .

Whitten 3:33

I literally have the timeline because I went over with my lawyer . So three days after , like getting attacked and driving back , she was selling all my stuff .

Maggie 3:41

That escalated quickly . Quickly , didn't it ? It sounds so calculated she really jumped on that .

Whitten 3:46

Yes , she did Huh .

Maggie 3:47

So it's like she had it planned , like if she was maybe gonna what .

Whitten 3:52

So truthfully being on the lookout when you're divorcing a crazy person is very important .

Maggie 3:59

Step three protecting your identity . So step three now you're working to protect your identity , protecting your identity . So step three now you're working to protect your identity , which you wouldn't think you'd have to do , but your identity can be stolen .

Whitten 4:09

Everyone knows that . Yes , when I left and we've gone through all the things that I had with me , which was so few , so Lizzie had the remaining items , so she has my personal phone , which is an easy way to have access to my Apple ID and basically all files and everything relating to me . Because of two-factor authentication , your phone is how you prove you're you .

Maggie 4:27

Right , and she also has your personal computer right . Yes , because you're only left with your work computer .

Whitten 4:31

Yes , so she was really able to get through and do all of that . So I had to work with my employer to add extra protections to my work email and to my insurance , because she was constantly trying to get into everything . And I'm talking like I am just back in Louisville , I'm not in a good mental state and this stuff is happening quickly , very quickly .

Whitten 4:51

Yeah , so one of the bigger ones , and I remember I was with Sally out having some Mexican lunch and we are sitting there in my phone and I have that burner phone still I hadn't gotten a new phone . Yeah , and my phone was burner phones . Guys , they still have like apps and stuff on them . It's weird . So I still had my email on it and I had been able to log into my email , but I'm getting logged out and so I'm trying to log back in .

Maggie 5:16

Your personal Gmail account ? Yes , yeah .

Whitten 5:18

And I'm getting logged out . I try to log back in and then it says there's another person logging in and past your account . And then it tries to get me to do two-factor authentication and I can't do it . You can't do that because she's got your phone and she's doing it .

Whitten 5:29

My lawyer literally described this as a game of cat and mouse , and I was the mouse , because there was no hope for me in this , because she had the authentication . So I actually had to call Google and the only thing that they could do was shut down the account entirely .

Maggie 5:45

How was shut down the account entirely ?

Whitten 5:45

How did ? How ? Were you able to prove that ? I've never had to do this , I know .

Whitten 5:47

So , while we were doing it in the conversation , like no one was going to get access to the account , so I wasn't going to get to look at it or have it . So it was literally I was saying I was written , I was giving the past several passwords and I was doing that . And so then they were like we can now close this account and then it's closed , there's no going back . And so Sally's we were afraid she might know , because you have to give it an email address to like manage the closure . Sure , and so Sally gave me her husband's email address and then he had to go through . It was authorized by me to get the access to the account so that even if Lizzie tried to get back into the account , the new address which was a closed account anyways was connected to a different email address . That's a lot , it's quite the process , and it ruined our lunch , I mean , because I was devastated because she was using it to pretend to be me .

Maggie 6:28

Well , yeah , and like emailing people as me . Did you ever hear like any feedback from anybody ?

Whitten 6:34

Well , it was like businesses , specifically that one when I called because I no longer could log into my insurance , and I called them and they were like no , you have , you have an email account . You changed your email . It's witton kunz montgomery at gmailcom and I was like , well , that's bizarre , because that's my full legal name , but that's not my account , right ? So she had literally created a fake email account which was my full legal name and was sending it to them and getting all things sent to her , and then the address now was changed to her home , not mine , in Pasture .

Maggie 7:08

Town .

Whitten 7:08

Yes , well , my old home in Pasture Town , right , and I had taken it all to Kentucky because she was trying to get access to everything , so I had to add separate identification procedures and she would still sometimes surpass those because she could get through voice identification . That's fucking crazy and I think we both have kind of a higher pitch voice . I'm not sure , but she would just get through it , say the social , and they'd think it was me Right .

Protecting Identity and Finances After Divorce

Maggie 7:29

Well , with same sex identity theft , as I think we've talked about in previous episodes , it's so much easier , I feel like , to hack into somebody else's life , somebody else's accounts , somebody else's .

Whitten 7:40

Cause if you're walking around and no one knows what I look like and you're saying you're me with my social security number and like have all the identification because you stole it all .

Maggie 7:48

Right , I mean she has your phone , all your passwords , social security Fair game to her .

Whitten 7:54

And loan after loan was getting taken out . It was getting to a crazy point . And they do not , and I think this shocks a lot of people . But when you have your identity stolen and loans are taken out in your name which are like not you , they don't fix your credit , they don't care Then you just have bad credit .

Maggie 8:09

Right , you have to actually rebuild that up yourself , because a loan's been taken out , the money's been borrowed . Yes , they don't give a shit who did it .

Whitten 8:14

Yes , it's like , well , it looked like it was you . So , yes , it was horrible . So , really protecting identity and I got life log , I got like the highest version of all these things and stuff was still happening and it was . It was frankly devastating because even if you have nothing , you have who you are Right .

Maggie 8:30

So to have somebody claiming to be you and , essentially , becoming you .

Whitten 8:35

And like this isn't just like a stranger off the street , someone who knew personal facts about me and I was starting . She had me dyeing my hair her hair color , like was trying to get us to look similar oh yeah , I remember that one time you came back in town . That was shocking yes , so crazy , crazy things . Yeah , so , yes , step three protect your identity . And I , I still work , still deal with that every day , like I still have all those alerts and I don't know if I'll ever not have that paranoia .

Maggie 8:59

Yeah , protecting people can be psycho , yeah , psycho step four and how to divorce a crazy person . Protecting your credit . So you touched on this just moments ago about how stealing a person's identity can affect your credit . Do you want to go into a little bit of what kind of impact it's actually had on you ?

Whitten 9:17

Yes , one of the biggest things that affects your credit which we all have , is the biggest payment most people have every month is your mortgage . Yeah , it before . And I'll say it again if you're buying a house with another person , regardless of how in love you are and how much you think you're going to be together forever , do not buy a house and not put both names on the mortgage . Right , you need to both be tied to the mortgage because the effects on your credit and everything are completely tied to that mortgage payment . And I gave lizzie the privilege of having her name on the deed when she wasn't even part of the mortgage or the payments .

Whitten 9:48

Right Because I loved her . So when I was in this position , I knew that like I had to continue to pay the monthly mortgage payments or else my credit was going to plummet and that's all like I had at that point , because all my money was sold . So I was back in Louisville , I was living at my parents for a while because I didn't have any other resource and I was paying a monthly mortgage for a massive house in Pasture Town , and I am truly so blessed because my parents were helping me immensely . I had really lost everything and even during that time , I was living in crisis after crisis , and I am just so lucky to have my parents and a family who was there for me and supporting me , and I really would not be here right now without the help of my parents . So , shout out , mom and dad , you guys are pretty awesome . So , with all these finances , I really needed to figure out a plan for next steps , for how to properly document and showcase exactly what was lost .

Whitten 10:40

Well , my lawyer told me that we should move forward with perhaps a divorce agreement to send it to Lizzie , because she said , most people won't need to go to court , most people are cooperative , most people want to participate in a process . Most people want to get divorced . They want to be separated . They want to be done . Unfortunately , lizzie's not . Most people , nope , nope . Most people want to participate in a process . Most people want to get divorced . They want to be separated . They want to be done . Unfortunately , lizzie's not . Most people , nope , nope . This is called how to divorce a crazy person , right ?

Whitten 11:03

But we drafted up a letter because you know that's also the cheaper option , because she was like you're going to pay a way higher retainer if you think I'm going to court . Of course you can add on that retainer , basically like an agreement to send to Lizzie . That included putting the house on the market , holding the funds in escrow and then splitting the funds 50-50 , just because I wanted to be out of the situation so badly and Lizzie has no reason to get any of that money , no reason . But I wanted to be divorced , no , right , no , nothing Out of it so badly , right . And so Lizzie responds and this is one of the few times Lizzie ever responded . But she said if you want me to participate in good faith in this sorry , I just reread this today but if you want me to do this in good faith . Then I need Witten to put the utilities in her name and start taking over the utilities for the house . Well , lizzie had wanted the utilities in her name , even though I was paying them , because she wanted to build up her credit .

Maggie 11:45

Because her credit , you know couldn't be on the mortgage Right . I can't imagine why her credit wasn't good .

Whitten 11:51

Yes , so my lawyer was like Witten , this is the best way for you to get her out of the house , because when we were married and we're both on the deed , the person who stayed in the house actually is the one who , like , has ownership of staying in the house at that point . So she was like , if you're not going to pay the utilities and the utilities in Badgertown were like high , like really high Like in Louisville , the utilities are way low I was paying like $900 a month in utilities .

Whitten 12:13

What ? Just because they're a small town ? Holy shit , Everything was so expensive . I mean that house was big but like Jesus .

Whitten 12:22

And the pool had a leak , so there was a lot of water going into that pool . When Lizzie suggested that , we , you know , then went and take over it and my lawyer was like no , just say no , Like Lizzie did not respond and did not want to be a part of that . So we did send her a complaint due to lack of response and she didn't respond either . So my credit was the only option that I had now was to stop paying the utilities , which we know how that ended up with the fridge .

Whitten 12:46

Yeah , or to like , have horrible credit and I wanted to protect my credit because I was going to have to have a life , yeah , so that was tough . That was very , very tough . And on that tough note , I think we should go to the next step .

Maggie 13:00

Step five protect your finances . So step five is now protecting your finances .

Whitten 13:06

Yes , which you know were all stolen from me , so I was rebuilding those . Part of this was I was meeting with the lawyer and if Lizzie wasn't going to participate then I had a bit of a leg to stand on to perhaps showcase .

Maggie 13:16

Right . So like if you were to go to court and showcase what all she has taken from you .

Whitten 13:20

Yes , to say that like perhaps the house should just the payment for the house should just be given to me , considering how much I had lost . Yes , and opposed to , you know , sharing at 50-50 now because she didn't want to participate in that deal .

Maggie 13:31

Yes , Now timeline wise because she didn't want to participate in that deal .

Whitten 13:35

Yes , now timeline-wise because you know this podcast goes out of chronological order . It's confusing and that fucks with me too .

Maggie 13:38

It fucks with us both .

Whitten 13:39

Yes , so is this before or after you and I have gone back to North Carolina , to the house . So we sent these statistics to my lawyer in the end of September and then you and I didn't go back for about three weeks .

Maggie 13:51

We went back in mid-October , okay , so this is still with the understanding , or your understanding , that I could still have everything in the house is still there .

Whitten 13:59

Yes , yes , but gosh , did I come over to Maggie's apartment with highlighters and a plan ? It was depressing .

Maggie 14:05

She came over with many , many sheets of paper . She said listen , I remember , I do remember this very specifically . You said I need you not to judge me because there's going to be some large amounts of money in here . I just need you to sit down and highlight . And I said okay , let's do it Because .

Whitten 14:21

I went to the bank and I had to have them print the closed accounts , because I had to close this account , so I had to have them print .

Maggie 14:27

Because she was still stealing , or she had already stolen everything out of it .

Whitten 14:30

She kept being able to utilize the account number to then be part of me because it was attached to me still , so I had to get that shut down . And yeah , I came with , like I mean , a different file folder full of stuff to go through with Maggie . And we were highlighting based on different types of expenses .

Whitten 14:50

So expenses for the house . Like things that I bought to invest in the house . Things that were household items that I bought for the house . Like things that I bought to invest in the house , things that were household items that I bought for the house .

Maggie 14:58

Then there was an account of , like Lizzie's , previous loans that you had taken over paying for .

Whitten 15:05

Like her car . Her car was separate , though . I covered that one and then all her previous like , just loan debt that I took over too . So those were two different color codes so that I could then send to my lawyer this massive list of like , because when I was going to sell this house , we'd lived in this house for like . Well , now I guess we're looking at about two years , but not actually because I'd been back in Louisville for some time . But when I was selling it it's like we're not going to make a huge profit because it had just been purchased so like and there's no other items right now to negotiate . So if I'd spent so much money on this , then maybe I needed a bit more compensation , was what my lawyer was saying . Yeah , so in order to protect my finances , I had to understand my finances , and it was depressing to look at the amount of money that I put into this love relationship .

Maggie 15:48

I mean it was shocking . It was shocking .

Whitten 15:52

It was shocking . It was shocking . We're currently not saying the numbers , but it was shocking . It was shocking . So it was shocking . We're currently not saying the numbers , but it but it was , uh , shocking . A lot of money , um . And then I had to create a new bank account and she still because I hadn't fully closed the other one , she still was able to call in and hack access to my other new bank account and went on a little amazon shopping spree fun for her , oh yes . So then I had to really officially close everything out . So yes , protecting your finances when you're my other new bank account and went on a little Amazon shopping spree Fun for her , oh yes . So then I had to really officially close everything out . So yes , protecting your finances when you're divorcing a crazy person is very important .

Maggie 16:22

Yes , Step six in divorcing a crazy person prepare for your reputation to decline .

Whitten 16:30

And dude , will it ever ? Because crazy people lie . Crazy people definitely lie , they definitely lie , they definitely lie . I was not aware of the type of delusion that perhaps some people could be living in , to the point where she would be texting my parents saying witten is a liar , witten , you do not believe anything she's saying about me . Please help me . You came back . Yes , yeah , please help me . Um , have access to witten's bank accounts . Please give me the records and receipts of all the past items Witten bought for the house so I could try to return them all .

Maggie 16:59

Wow , I can just picture what your father's reaction was to those text messages .

Whitten 17:05

I read them again today because I have the screenshots .

Maggie 17:08

Oh , my God .

Whitten 17:08

What type of person thinks .

Navigating Divorce and Reputation Concerns

Whitten 17:10

But she went as so , so low as to try to think she could take my parents and get them to be on her side went as , so so low as to try to think she could take my parents and get them to be on her side , right . So just think about our average acquaintances oh yeah , especially all the people when I met her and we were out there working in west louisville , my goodness all those people just started to then think I was like this villain well , because she had gaslit everybody , everybody she's ever encountered in her entire life .

Maggie 17:30

She has gaslit them into thinking that she is this fucking saint . She does , though . She's just so charming and so I mean I fell for it .

Whitten 17:38

Yeah , it's like you think she's like saving the world and all these things she's doing really , when they're all just self-serving her to get the image that she wants to be able to manipulate .

Maggie 17:45

Yeah , I am curious . I guess I'd forgotten that she tried that she'd reached out to your parents . I wonder if you know she had tried that in the past with some of her other marriages that did not work out .

Whitten 17:58

God , we need a season two where you guys call me and we work with you .

Maggie 18:01

If you ever listen to this podcast , please let's talk .

Whitten 18:04

If you married Lizzie , we can have a little support group on Tuesdays . We'll all say , like I'm Witten and I'm an ex from Lizzie , Hi Witten .

Maggie 18:11

I'd listen to that podcast . But yeah , I wonder if she ever tried that route with any of them and like it worked and yeah who knows .

Whitten 18:20

And she went as far as doing libel , which I didn't really know that term , I just knew the term defamation . But libel is when you are doing defamation in the sense of doing it through the written word , so publishing it online . So there's two kinds of defamation . There's slander , which is where you just speak it into the world , but libel is when you are doing it through written word , and that's what she did .

Whitten 18:43

I , you know I had a good job for a nonprofit organization and I had done a lot of videos and work on their page . And after court this bitch gets on my place of works Facebook page and posts a lie saying Witten Montgomery has just pled guilty to domestic assault , which , no , I did not , you were the person who did it . The judge even knew . But she put that online . Thank goodness my work was patient with me and like pulled it up to me and said , like cause , I'd already told the work I was going through domestic violence and everything was going on . But right , that type of thing is called reliable because that could have made me lose my job for sure , and that lie had the stake of making me lose my livelihood and that was her intention , of course like why else would he post on my place of works page ?

Maggie 19:28

I mean , she's just trying to continue to like ruin your life . I mean she had you falsely arrested . She's stolen all your money . She's stolen your identity . She's ruining your credit . Why wouldn't she try to make you lose your job ? Why not ? But although that's the way that she's still making her money , because she's still finding ways to steal it from you , or ?

Whitten 19:45

use my insurance for sure .

Maggie 19:46

Yes .

Whitten 19:47

Yeah , and that's why when it's saying , prepare for your reputation to decline , this is when my circle got so small , because I did not trust anyone , right , unless I really knew the person and knew that they supported me . Right , if I had known someone who also knew Lizzie , I just completely cut off talking to them because I didn't want to risk that type of emotional anguish or stuff getting back to Lizzie about my new phone number Because I was trying to reestablish a new identity for her to be able to come and stalk me . Yeah , so I was scared . So I mean , I trusted you , I trusted Sally . I had very few people in my circle . It was hard so divorcing a crazy person , your reputation could go up in flames , and mine did . I'm probably still rebuilding it with a lot of people . I mean , there's a massive Facebook post . She put out as me A lot of things that happened that I'm never going to . I can't tell everyone the truth unless they . Now I just have to trust that people know who I am . Right , right , yeah , sucks .

Maggie 20:40

Step seven in how to divorce a crazy person take legal action for divorce .

Whitten 20:44

Yes and dang , we didn't want to . My lawyer really wanted me to be able to do that , like you know . Know , we're just gonna come to an agreement split 50 50 .

Maggie 20:52

It'll be super amicable .

Whitten 20:54

It'll be great and yeah , that didn't work . I mean , but goodness , I'm glad that she tried to save me money at the beginning , because I'm just gonna add this in take it or leave it . I think divorce lawyers mine's incredible . I'm obsessed with her and I she deserves every penny she earned . Oh yeah , but I would pay . It was in six minute increments when I would talk to her because , like , she was paid by the hour and so they divide it in six minutes because it's like one 10th of the hour and I would just know and I would be looking at the clock like okay , well , if I go over this , six minute , then I guess I think also that your lawyer , God , love her so much I think she got so invested in this too she wanted to burn this bitch down as much as we did , you know .

Whitten 21:40

She was like watching the whole thing . Yeah , she was helpful

Struggles With Cross-State Divorce Proceedings

Whitten 21:43

. Yes , so we essentially had to serve Lizzie with papers because Lizzie had not responded to anything and now I was just paying this mortgage and it was like , oh , lizzie just wanted to be married to me forever . Like , didn't care at all . Meanwhile she was damn getting engaged , but oh , still married to me . Oh , yeah , yeah , like out proposing to someone .

Whitten 22:00

I mean she had a boyfriend the entire time y'all were together , but literally proposed to someone while she was trying not to divorce me and not responding about divorcing me . So think about that . So , yeah , we , I served her with papers and my lawyer thought that if we added charges in addition to the divorce , that it might be more real . That has a lot more financial consequences , consequences Thanks , friend . And so we added intentional infliction of emotional distress , which is a charge in North Carolina , which she definitely intentionally inflicted me with emotional distress . So we were going to serve her with those two things . These were serve service for north carolina , because the most recent place we had lived for six months was north carolina , but I was having to serve her in louisville because she and I were now both back in both living in louisville so this gets very confusing I know , I know and that's what I think , made it even more complicated so I had to .

Whitten 22:47

We had to find someone to serve her , and that did . You know where she was living then ? Well , I had known her boyfriend's house . I assumed that that was , like you know , a good spot to look . But they also , you can tell someone to serve and , like you , tell them last known address , right so , and that was .

Whitten 23:02

The last known address I could give them . So I will say if you're divorcing a crazy person , expect her to be aggressive and rude to the person serving her and to lie about being served and to say she said that we probably served her son instead of her . And then the person who had served her like had this report and it said that there was someone behind her , like during it , and maybe her son was there , but they definitely served her . All the physical characteristics they listed for her matched her description and they're like distinct characteristics that you would know matched her description and they're like distinct characteristics that you would know were her . Yeah so and then expect that she won't engage at all with any of the service she received .

Whitten 23:39

So the legal papers she's not gonna not gonna deal with that . And then decides , when she finally has a court date sent to her , that she's gonna have to go to court and serve , you know , defend herself from , you know , intentional infliction of emotional distress to and you and I had booked the tickets north North Carolina . We were ready to go for a court . Remember it was going to be early January . You were going to come to this with me .

Maggie 23:57

Oh , because this was the . This was the second court date .

Whitten 24:00

But this was like the family court date Remember , not the scary court date , Right ? Yes , so we were planning to go , but then that bitch representant herself filled out her own little document filled with misspellings and grandiose lies for a motion for continuance and to move the case out of North Carolina . And I was devastated because I wanted to be able to be out of this house .

Maggie 24:24

I wanted to be divorced .

Whitten 24:25

I wanted to be able to be a single person and just move forward with my life . And I had spent so much money on this and I , because the letter had to come to me , the letter had to go to the court . And I read this letter and , oh was I livid . I was taking a bubble bath . When I called you about this Recently , this Netflix film had come out and we had watched it called like don't look up . And in the Netflix film they're in the government building and they're giving out free chips . But this person is saying that the chips cost money . And I'm like they're like why did that person lie about the chips costing money ? And they're like that's such a stupid thing to lie about the chips costing money . And then , during this time , damn lizzie lied about all sorts of stupid shit in the house and one of them was mowing the lawn . She writes in this letter and I'm gonna , and I quote because why not , please , please ?

Whitten 25:12

When miss montgomery abandoned the property , none of our four doors to enter or exit the home would both open and close . They were either stuck open or stuck shut due to some moisture issues . Prior to my move , I repaired all of the doors to ensure that the property could be properly secured . I shocked the pool to keep the water blue and presentable and I mowed the lawn . I'm going to tell you about all those things . Those are all fucking lies . They're all lies . But I was paying for lawn care . I was paying for lawn care .

Maggie 25:40

Y'all . Like I've said before about the salmon packets , the amount of times I've heard Witten just randomly be like but she didn't mow the lawn .

Whitten 25:50

But she didn't , but she didn't , but she didn't . Why did she like , out of all the lies , like , why is she gonna say she's fucking mowing the lawn when I'm paying someone to mow the lawn ? I ? Mean that is just like the most absurd . And we know she didn't fix the doors . The doors were not fixed , definitely not . The doors were . The pool was not shocked any time recently the pool was green .

Maggie 26:06

Yeah , no , there was something in that pool and it's not something . You wanted to be living in that pool , but she did not muggle on . Okay , she did not muggle on .

Whitten 26:14

And this letter said other very severely mean , awful lies . Like Many , if not all , the claims asserted in the paperwork are completely false , namely that I abused Ms Montgomery in any way or that I did not work and earn income during our marriage . As a matter of fact , I can assure you that Ms Montgomery's false claims of a physical attack are retaliatory , as she recently wiggled her way out of the charges , after compliance with court orders , for violently attacking me , thereby ending the marriage . Wow , what a dumbly written , eloquent , fucking lie when you did all those things to me and also like you didn't earn income because like we were broke as shit . And if you were earning income , I don't know where it is because it wasn't any bank account I saw .

Whitten 26:54

So , yes , I had very strong opinions about this and I was very pissed and I'd spent thousands in North Carolina and that damn judge did not want to take on this jurisdiction thing . And I bet that judge read that letter and thought I never want to meet Lizzie and said , yeah , this is Kentucky's problem , yep . And my sweet lawyer was like I'm pulling up case studies . I'm pulling up like Susie versus the state of North Carolina , like all these old studies , to be able to prove that you deserve this here . But the judge was . I'm sure the judge read Lizzie's letter and thought no fucking way , no way in hell . So , yes , you have to take legal action for divorce and even when you do that , you could be fucked .

Maggie 27:33

You could be fucked because a liar could write these damn lies about you . And I have this letter . Sorry , I'm passionate , she didn't mow the lawn . Step eight try to remain calm and find a Kentucky lawyer , which is really hard .

Whitten 27:39

Okay , it's really hard to remain calm when this shit's going on . I understand . Now I'm trying to find a Kentucky lawyer and guess what ? They all think North Carolina has jurisdiction .

Maggie 27:47

Of course they do .

Whitten 27:48

Because North Carolina actually does have jurisdiction , because we live there and the property that is being discussed is located in North Carolina . And the only asset we're really able to divide because she's stolen , everything else Is a fucking house Is the house in North Carolina . So , yeah , I have to start everything over , and I know that a judge might not even have claim to this house in North Carolina , but now the judge is in North Carolina . The county that I have to be in won't take the case .

Maggie 28:15

So I , which is not a big county , so I'm sure that most of those judges are like hey , y'all listen , if this comes across your desk , you just need to do what I did and be like no , no , that's Kentucky .

Whitten 28:27

Run , Don't walk . So I eventually , through a family connection , was able to find and I wrote in here a matter-of-fact lawyer , because that's how he was .

Whitten 28:36

Indeed , he was not passionate . Indeed , he was not even my lawyer for criminal in North Carolina who was just , you know , probably dealing with criminals . No , he was still a family court lawyer . He just was very matter-of-fact , very different from my North Carolina one who would help me through the emotional burden . Yes , so again , we attempt to serve Lizzie for divorce and division of assets in Kentucky .

Whitten 28:58

Different state , different divorce rules . You have to have lived in Kentucky and have been separated in Kentucky for six months and you have to do mediation first before they will let you go to court . So , newsflash , we hadn't lived in Kentucky this long . That's why I was trying to do divorce in North Carolina . But this lawyer who knew me through the family was like well , I guess we'll go forward because North Carolina denied the case , so try to serve Lizzie . And Lizzie's response because she does respond says oh , we haven't lived long enough in Kentucky to get divorced . I mean what ? So my lawyer is at least able to prove the manipulation through the previous continuance , the continuance request , documentation to show that Lizzie had wanted to do it in Kentucky and that's why we switched to Kentucky . It wasn't me .

Whitten 29:45

So , yeah , at first she tried to argue saying well , we haven't lived here long enough . So , liar , well , no , we hadn't , but that's why I was divorcing you in north carolina , right , right . So then we tried to , you know , serve her for the request for mediation and financial disclosure , because in kentucky you're required to financially disclose all your assets . Which I knew like because I watched her , like , paid for her registration when I got married , I knew about her motorcycle and I knew about her boat and I knew about her car , like I knew that she had items to disclose . Yeah , yeah , she didn't respond to any , any , any requests . The only shocking , only thing she tried to do was say we haven't lived in Kentucky long enough to get divorced you know , just another lie .

Whitten 30:19

So so that was you know , that was my , my good luck at remaining calm .

Maggie 30:26

Step nine Go to trial to divorce the bitch .

Whitten 30:31

Woo Okay , yeah .

Maggie 30:34

Finally . So after multiple attempts , to contact Lizzie .

Whitten 30:38

You know Lizzie didn't respond and so we were able to file contempt of court and be able to go forward with trial . So every state's different . In North Carolina if you don't respond , you have to put an ad in the newspaper . So hello , pasture Town trying to find this person , a divorcer An ad in the newspaper man . In Kentucky , you get to prove multiple instances of positive service that we had served her Right .

Whitten 31:03

And that we had the correct email and she'd received all of these documents and that she'd ignored them , right . So we were able to go forward to court . That was they , let me . You skip mediation , you skip everything with the person's in contempt , like you get to just go straight to the court , and that means that if they're served and they don't go to court , they don't go to court .

Maggie 31:20

But of course I'm terrified . So does that mean that they're like in contempt of court ?

Whitten 31:23

I mean , yeah , but like they don't for family court , they don't really care , it's charges just about like me

Final Steps to Freedom From Crazy

Whitten 31:29

. So , basically , I was excited to finally go to court , but I was terrified that she would come and show up and originally , and we're still in pandemic a sense . The legal system is still very in pandemic .

Whitten 31:39

Right Very behind very slow , very Still masking , still doing a lot of things . But we're coming out of the pandemic in a lot of things , like I'm having meetings in person with a lot of donors , right . So I originally thought , yeah , for work , sorry , yes , I originally thought that I was going to have to go to court and I was terrified and I got my tarot cards read Of course you did , because I love to get my cards read .

Whitten 32:01

Of course you do and I , you know , she pulled the cards out and she said that she saw , you know , she saw this horribleness that I'd been enduring , and she saw that there was a weight lifted off my back . And then she said I feel that she's not going to tune in .

Whitten 32:15

And I said well , it's not tuning in , it's in person . And then she was like no , no , no , no , I sense you tuning in and she's not going to tune in and you're going to have a positive reaction . And two days later the court went virtual and I was able to do it virtually and she didn't tune in .

Whitten 32:32

Hey listen , I had Maggie and another friend at my house while I was in court . They were there to support me because I was anxious I had still gotten a beautiful little dress because I thought I was going to court . So I was dressed all officially and you all were doing a puzzle because I'd been puzzling . Yes , I was trying to puzzle because it was . I was trying not to drink , I was trying not to do anything . I was just really trying to focus on just like getting myself through this period and I was so anxious that puzzling was a great hobby for me . I still like puzzling .

Maggie 32:57

Well , sure , but it can like kind of take your mind . You can focus on that .

Whitten 32:59

Yes , yes , so they were literally doing a puzzle .

Maggie 33:02

So we focused on them while you were doing that .

Whitten 33:05

And that court was . It was easy .

Maggie 33:09

It was , it was . I mean , from being on the other side of the screen , just like seeing your face , I feel like you kind of like looked up at us when we all realized that she wasn't there . Yeah , it was like she's not there , she's not there , like whispering , she's not there , and it's just like you know , we were all very excited behind the camera and , of course , witness , like keep it together , and it was it was quick because the judge basically , and they get like the whole file of the like you know , so I'm seeing you served her with these , you served her with this .

Whitten 33:35

I'm seeing you know there's because I did a financial disclosure . She didn't present a financial but I presented my financial disclosure . So , like the judge sees that I'd cooperated and done everything , no-transcript access . They did that and she even that . That judge , because the main thing I cared about was those christmas ornaments I know I mean this was y'all .

Maggie 34:08

this was like heartbreaking to hear the like two things that Witten requested . Out of all of this insanity , witten wanted her Christmas ornaments and her photos back .

Whitten 34:20

I did . That's all that she asked for and the judge granted it to me given you can't control Lizzie to give it to me unless I wanted to continuously pay . Oh yeah , spoiler alert , she did not get that shit back . No , but the judge judge at least , and that's really what I still would fight for , those things , which is depressing , but those are just things . I mean it ended very positively and I was very happy and I was divorced and that was good , it was a good day . It was a good day .

Maggie 34:47

Step 10 , finally , sell your house .

Whitten 34:52

So I did have the legal orders , but I still because of the jurisdiction issue . So I still had to work on a quick claim deed and North Carolina . Because her name was still on the deed for the house . We had to try to serve her again because she was required by law to sign over the house to me . Of course she was , but she didn't respond to service . So then we had to continually try to serve her and eventually we were allowed to just have the court sign it over to me . So we had her in contempt again , did all of that and after multiple weeks on the market I switched to the realtors from north carolina who were my friends , who'd been helping me through this . But I was afraid to get them engaged because I didn't know if they were talking to Lizzie or talking to me .

Maggie 35:32

You didn't know if you could trust them . It was so hard , even though they were so wonderful .

Whitten 35:35

I know it's hard because I did in step six . I said , you know , prepare for your reputation to decline . I didn't know what they thought about me .

Whitten 35:44

Right , because who knows what . She has gone back and said like we want to help you sell this house . It's been on the market and we can make this house sell . They had it for like a week and sold it over and did an amazing job . Oh yeah , the house sold and I was finally able to make a profit off the house . Now , not , it did not make up for all that money we created . We created in spreadsheets , but at least it was something .

Maggie 36:06

Yes , step 11 in how to divorce a crazy person is have a fucking divorce party .

Whitten 36:12

Yes , yes , yes , especially because , like I didn't get married like a normal person , so I never had like you know , bridal shower or bachelorette party .

Whitten 36:21

So I went all in Local gay bar Shout out to Play You're incredible , bought a booth , had some fun , did crazy . The theme was when life gives you lemons , make lemon drops . It did crazy . The theme was when life gives you lemons , make lemon drops . It was wonderful . And then sweet maggie , treating it as if I was finally having a bachelorette party , got me , got everyone in matching shirts , although my dad really wished she'd had a shirt , maggie .

Maggie 36:40

I still feel bad about steve .

Whitten 36:41

She's sorry , I'm sorry , dad , when you listen . She wished she had you a shirt . I do , I do . But , yes , go celebrate , because that was awful , it was awful , and and it was done , finally , finally . The trauma's still there but it was done .

Maggie 36:56

Oh yeah , we hope you enjoyed our 11 step guide to how to divorce a crazy person here on the unmute podcast .

Whitten 37:03

We hope you never have to access said guide , but it's here for you if you ever need it . Indeed .

Maggie 37:08

Um , but for real , we hope you enjoyed this episode . We hope it was , we hoped it was , hope you learned something from it .

Whitten 37:16

I thought there was like a mouth on my floor . No , I just she hoped it was like exciting we hope it was different though , cause all the other podcast episodes have been a bit more triggering , especially for me , so this one was at least leading to a finally an ending .

Unveiling Lies

Maggie 37:31

Yes , and I know our last episode was pretty damn heavy , so we were crying during this , yeah , so hopefully you got some good stuff out of this . You learned something , but I'm really , really excited about our next episode . I think it's going to be maybe the most fun episode , because this next episode we're going to go into some stories that Lizzie told Witten .

Whitten 37:51

Lies . Lizzie told .

Maggie 37:53

And Witten might not be so keen to say that she believes them , and I'm going to just lay it all out there , y'all , there's some crazy shit coming .

Whitten 38:03

It is that one's going to be a good episode .

Maggie 38:04

Thank you . It'll be a great Christmas present too , it will .

Whitten 38:07

So until next time we're going to go back on mute . Bye .